‘The Birnbaum School for Making New friends’
60 Sec. Spot Copyright Gene L. Gillette
Do you have trouble meeting new friends? Is the UPS man the only one who shows up when you throw a party? Do you spend too much time arguing string theory with your cat? You need to meet new friends.
The Birnbaum school of Making New Friends is the answer.
Our staff, whose winning ways have made friends for them all over the world, include the affable Bill O’Reilly........ and Paul Wolfowitz, whose magnetism enchants those he meets....... . and, as a special treat this year, guest lecturer, Donald Trump, will share his tips on hair grooming.
The Birnbaum School also teaches you valuable business techniques such as ‘The Pretend Smile’, and ‘The fake handshake’.
One of our most popular classes, ‘Talking to Strangers in Malls’. will teach you incredible opening lines such as “Hi, I had cancer last year but I love a good wine” or the line that never fails “I hope I’m not standing so close my B.O. offends you.”
Start making new friends today.........For The Birnbaum’s school’s brochure call one eight hundred new pals.
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