Grammarians are the Darth Vaders of the Writing Galaxy

Grammarians are the Darth Vaders of the Writing Galaxy

by

Gene L. Gillette

(Copyright by Gene L. Gillette )


A long time ago, in a publishing world far away, evil people called ‘grammarians’ made rules regarding our language. They decided what words were the correct words to use, and where to use them. They also told us which vowels and consonants must be used-- and where. Arbitrary of course, but they had the Death Star Publishing Company snookered, as well as most of the writers on a home planet some hundred million light years from Tatooine.


Unfortunately, their clout continues to this day. The only good thing I can say about grammarians is that they provide conflict, which is of course essential for writers of fiction. (Technical and article writers breath easy.) However I can co-exist with them until they get in the way of my characters, plot, or saving Princess Leia.

Personally I find grammarians a strange breed. I for one would never spend eight hours a day in a boiling-hot office, with no air conditioning; searching for the roots of Jedi.

Here’s some examples of their subjective regulations, and their accompanying inconsistencies. Why does the word ‘tomorrow’ only have one ‘m’? One could argue that it’s a ‘sound thing’. In other words, the two ‘r’s make sense because in terms of the way it ‘sounds’, you’re ending one syllable with an ‘r’ and beginning another syllable with another ‘r’. But if sound is the rational, why shouldn’t there be an ‘a’ after ‘tom—‘? Isn’t that an ‘ah’ sound as in the letter ‘a’? No it must be something other than sound. What would Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi say?

The list of troublesome words and ruled spellings is much too long to go into here, but a few are worth mentioning. (Mainly because without mentioning them, this essay would have no substance.)

Another word that troubles me is ‘tragedy’. Why not a ‘j’ instead of a ‘g’? From a sound point of view (and maybe useful as a visual tool) it seems that ‘j’ would do just as well as ‘g’. (It’s a trajedy that a fine actor like Chewbacca was type cast by his first film. There’s no reason he couldn’t have done some Shakespeare.)

And what about ‘communication’ (which, incidentally is what we writers are all about). Why ‘o’ and not ‘a’? If ever there was an ‘ah’ sound, it’s certainly here. But I guess as long as writers are c(a)mmunicating, who cares?

One could go on endlessly about words and what grammarians have shackled us with, but to paraphrase C-3PO , “this is madness--but we’re stuck with it.”